Self-help is the best help is an age-old saying. It is true that only one can help oneself better than others in this materialistic world. If one depends on the other, possibilities are such that the other person may just exploit the person in need for his other benefits and leave the person in need.
Therefore there are many myths and facts which have built up around self-help lately and it is difficult to know which actually is a fact and which is a myth.
Here are five facts and myths enlisted which can clear all doubts about self- help:
1. Myth: Low self- esteem affects self-help
Myth number one says that all actions whether positive or negative occur due to levels of self- esteem in an individual. Smoking, drinking, taking drugs or having sex are completely due to low self- esteem levels.
Research reads that most bullies in schools or colleges have high self- esteem and they think highly of themselves in looks, intelligence and social quotient. Hence, even wrong doings involve high self- esteem in individuals.
2. Myth: One can control one’s life.
Research reads that those who do not control their lives may end up in believing in superstitions and conspiracy theories. This even includes the belief that whatever negative occurs, occurs due to external forces.
One can never fully control one’s life completely, as life is unpredictable and the future is unforeseen. The only thing that can be done to control is to create backup plans for unforeseen or alternate circumstances. Because people who do not have any control in life are subject to guilt, perfectionism, anxiety, negative thoughts or even self-recrimination at times and may lead to losing confidence overtime.
3. Myth: One can never be too much assertive.
Assertive behaviour is when there is a platform of respect mutually among two parties, and one can openly voice their opinions to be heard. Too much assertion may be harmful as to lead to loss of the job.
Assertiveness is the only way in which opinions shall be held across each other and opinions be expressed. If one does not become assertive, the opinions remain unheard and the wrong in turn becomes right. Hence, one should be practically assertive and not be suppressed with opinions.
4. Myth: Letting all the feelings out and be expressed to a person and in public.
Suppressing feelings inside leads to anger and other psychological problems, as also leading to health problems due to suppression of feelings and anger to a person or in public.
It is not important to express every feeling at all times, sometimes holding the feeling and letting it out in a personal space seems to be more appropriate. Because expressing anger or discomfort may not be appropriate always. Sometimes it may even destroy or break relations.
Research reads that the Chinese are the healthiest population in the world even after suppressing their feelings inside and not expressing every one of them.
5. Myth: All should be happy
Well, happiness is being given a lot of importance off late. Happiness is not everything to be lived for, at sometimes people need to sacrifice and let go off things as well. As also being happy at all times may not be possible always. Happiness can also be from sadistic pleasure or from being a racist or sexist. Hence, being happy at all times is not good.
All may not be happy and happiness may not be given such importance that people should forget their stress and trauma and be happy always. There is also an existence of pain and sorrow in life. People are materialistic and can use anyone for their pleasure which leads to happiness only of one person and sorrow of the other.
Most people do not give importance to happiness these days, even if they do, somebody in the universe takes advantage of them and does not even repay the deed.
These facts and myths may be subject to changes in introvert and extrovert individuals. As also some individuals may seem to be dependent on counsellors or advisors for self- help. Some individuals also may require constant help or guidance and may feel it difficult to be self- dependent.